A Pain Like No Other!

In the week that passed from one ultrasound to the next, I tried everything in my power to will both of those beautiful babies to live and thrive!

We went the following week to our next ultrasound.  It was every parent's worst fear...baby "A" was growing right on schedule and baby "B" was more than just a little behind.  As we met with the doctor after the ultrasound, she informed us that we were losing one of our precious little ones.  In the weekly ultrasounds to follow, we would watch baby "B" get smaller and smaller and finally just "vanish."  In all we had been through to this point, I thought we had experienced every kind of heartache and emotion possible as far as babies were concerned.  I was wrong!  This was a hurt like no other that ran VERY deep.  As I type these words, the pain and heartache is still there.  I still have tears that come to my eyes at the thought or mention of our sweet baby.  To this day, my husband cannot talk about it.  It hurt him in a way that I have never seen.  In theory, it should have helped us that we still had one healthy baby.  Yes, we were overjoyed at the fact that baby "A" was doing well, but a miscarriage is a miscarriage.  It hurts to the core of a mommy's being....and still does.

To make matters worse, we had to go to back to the doctor's office weekly for the next few weeks.  What should have been a joyous time was dampened by having to watch our baby get smaller and smaller each week.  By the end of our time at the infertility doctor, all that was left of our miracle was an empty sac.  Talk about heart wrenching....

I'll be completely honest, it took us a little while to get over our loss. After all, we had prayed for this miracle and had been overcome with joy (and shock) at the news of twins.  Now, we had to, once again, pick ourselves up and get back in the game.  We had a three-year-old and baby "A" who needed us!  It took a few months for the hole in our hearts to begin to fill up. The pain never went away, but excitement about our thriving new addition was becoming our focus.

In a few short weeks, we would find out the gender of our baby (and SO much more)....