Confession Time

Here's where I think I should confess a few things:
1.  As I was a little girl growing up, I always said I would have three kids.  I would have a boy first and then two little girls.  This was when life was easy, and I was young and naive.  I totally gave up on this dream after sitting in the Fertility Clinic for the umpteenth time. Not on purpose, but I never shared this "dream" with Jason.  After I saw the results of the pregnancy test, I told Jason.  I think he wishes I'd shared this just a tad earlier!!!!  Kind of puts some validity to a small child's dreams.  Needless to say, I am listening to every dream of Harrison!  You never know, he might become a farmer or a bird in a cuckoo clock!
2. True, I always dreamed of having three kids, but, let me just say, going from one to two kids rocked my world a bit.  It didn't help that we had open heart surgeries and other bothersome things, too.  To say that I am a schedule and routine kind of person is putting it mildly.  I know I need to chill out a bit (and all those that know me well are screaming "Hallelujah"), but I just can't help it!  I try....I really do!  I did adjust, however, and finally got "comfortable" being the mommy of two.  The thought of THREE kids seemed a little overwhelming, to say the least.  Yes, I was happy about this newest gift, but I was just getting used to THIS life, you know?
3.  I was SCARED TO DEATH to be pregnant with the tumultuous pregnancy with Lynley.  In the beginning, I couldn't quite shake that uneasy feeling that something could go wrong at ANY time, and I truly didn't know if I could handle anything like that again.  With each doctor's appointment, I was more excited yet anxious, because Lynley's diagnosis came from nowhere!  Could I really let myself relax and enjoy this?  I prayed very, very, very hard for this.  Sometimes, it was daily struggle to just let myself enjoy this.  That sounds very bad, I know, but it was my reality.  Most of me knew this was a gift from God to help heal all the wounds relating to Lynley, but there were times the enemy reminded me that it could all happen again without warning.
4.  Pure and simple....I felt WAY too old for this! 

I went to my OBGYN on Tuesday.  I felt a myriad of emotions...excitement, anticipation, fear, joy, etc.  Thankfully, I have a fabulous doctor that was just as happy for us as we were (shocked but happy).  It was all verified.  There, on the ultrasound screen was a BEAUTIFUL gift.  They weren't sure, due to it being way early in the pregnancy, if anything would show up. God KNEW I needed to, not only hear the news, but SEE it for myself.  Have I mentioned how thrilled we were?  I'm pretty sure I used half a box of Kleenex as I laid there and let this sink in.  This was real.  This was going to happen.  This was our "full circle" moment.  In the midst of the excitement and tears, I think I heard God say, "I TOLD you I had this!!!!"


 

Operation Shock and Awe....Well Worth the Wait

WOW!  I just kept staring at that stick.  I'm not sure I blinked for several minutes.  It was a moment I had dreamed of for years (more like a lifetime), and here it was!  Not much makes me speechless (if you know me well, you know that's true), but I definitely was.  Although I try to look at glasses being half full instead of half empty, I'll admit that, in this case, I started thinking of all the reasons that this was a false positive.  After what seemed like hours, I casually walked into the living room where Jason was playing with Harrison and Lynley.  (He told me up front that he did not want to know when I took the test.  I guess he couldn't take the nerves.)  I showed him the test, and he just looked at me with a smirky grin, as if he knew it all along.  While I was trying to figure out how I could get a false positive, Mr. Pierce had already convinced himself that we were pregnant.

Although Jason believed all of this, he made it very clear that he didn't want to tell anyone yet...until it was confirmed by my doctor.  Since it was Good Friday and a holiday weekend, that wasn't going to happen until at least the next week.  We agreed that we could tell our parents, but no one else.  We'd been the route of telling people we were pregnant with twins and then having to tell that we lost one.  If at all possible, we didn't want to travel that road again!  Needless to say, it was traumatic!

I visited a friend that afternoon who had just had a baby.  Since we were totally traveling in unknown territory, Jason told me to ask her (and only her) what to do now.  How long do you wait to call the doctor?  Can this be a false positive?  I was absolutely bursting at the seams to tell someone.  When I told her well into our visit, her reaction was priceless.  Hey, this was fun!  She assured me that false negatives can happen, but rarely do false positives happen.  Although most people wait a little longer before going to the doctor, under these circumstances, she thought it would be perfectly fine to call on Monday.  That was the plan, then, but how in the world was I going to hold it in until the next week? 

I'm pretty sure nothing could have wiped the grin off my face.  Was this real?  Could this really happen?  I'd been told many times of people it happened to, but this was us, after all!  We'd had to work (and I mean REALLY work) for the two precious kiddos we have.

You know what they say about "best laid plans"?  They "often go astray"!  Well, we INTENDED to keep this news to ourselves.  That night was the Good Friday service at church.  We told Jason's parents before we left and they thought we were adopting.  Hahahaha!  You see, this was the furthest thing from anyone's mind, including the Pierces!  When we got to church and started seeing all of our closest friends, our intentions went out the window.  I'll never forget that night as long as I live.  We got a variety of reactions...tears, mouths that were gaping WIDE open, laughs (my mom included), etc... I'm pretty sure through telling the news, God was smiling and so was I!!!!  Fun times!

I couldn't get totally excited (although I was pretty close) until it was confirmed by my OBGYN the following week......