The Not-So-Welcome Distraction

Even though we had gotten the news that our unborn baby should make it, it is still very hard to forget the possibilities you've been told.  You can't just hear from a doctor that your baby could die and then forget it immediately.  I lived in fear for this baby.  I was pretty much scared of what was going to happen, what could happen, and what probably wouldn't happen.  This mommy was scared....period!

After hearing the news and giving myself several days to process it, I decided it was time to go back to work.  It was an extremely hard day for me.  Even though I was dying inside, I had a class full of students who needed me, and I was determined to be the best I could for them.  I have wonderful coworkers.  They assured me that if things got too rough, they would cover for me at any time...no questions asked!  I took everything within me to get through the first few days back, but, with God's help and A LOT of prayers, I made it.  I would love to say that each day got easier, but it's just not true.  I'm sad to say that I learned how to "fake" happiness at times.  I had a smile on my face, but inside I was hurting!  That may sound dramatic, but my world was truly turned upside down.  I know that the diagnosis was not the end of the world, but, at times, it seemed like it.  It's just not the dream I had for my life (just being real).

On Wednesday of the very next week, as if the previous week wasn't bad enough, I woke up with a terribly, horrible pain in my side.  To say that it scared us to death would be an understatement.  Of course, we called the doctor as soon as they opened and they told us to come to the office immediately.  After bloodwork, ultrasound, and exam, I was told that my baby was fine (thank goodness) but that I had KIDNEY STONES!  Are you kidding me?  I just could not catch a break...at all!  In a few days, hopefully they would be gone.  I went home and began drinking more water than any human being should EVER have to drink (and I like water).  Maybe if I didn't float away first , they would be gone in a short time.  Thankfully, in a little over two days, the pain subsided.  I'm kind of thinking that God allowed the kidney stones to take my mind off of the "situation" for the time being!  Not exactly how I would have preferred to be distracted!!!!!

At each doctor's appointment, an ultrasound was done.  I guess that was one bright light in the darkness.  We got to see our sweet thing each time we went.  I brought a lot of anxiety and fear with each appointment.  What else would they find?  Would things get worse?  At our very next appointment one week later, our girl did something remarkable....

Yes...that is a sonogram picture of our girl giving us the "thumbs up" sign to let us know everything is going to be alright!  Wow...already an encourager!  I have to say that this lifted my spirits.  It's the little things.

I was still anxious over the situation and got nervous with each doctor's appointment, but I was praying (like I had never prayed before) for healing.